Cold Air & My Brother in Heaven

I did something I haven’t done in a long while.

I walked to my son’s school, instead of driving, to pick him up.

I am not entirely sure what compelled me to walk. I hadn’t planned to. There was potential for rain (although we got home before it started). And I usually avoid rain at all costs.

The brisk air hit my face. I could feel the difference in the cold air I breathed in and how my chest felt with each breathe.

My thoughts wondered to my brother.

What was it like to feel the air in heaven? What was he doing at the moment? Would I see his sunset tonight with all these clouds?!

It has been three months since his time on earth ended, and he was called home to heaven.

I am no stranger to loss, but this has been a different kind of grief.

As I work through that grief alone in the quiet of my car or in sharing feelings with family, I always remember that grief is a byproduct of love.

While I struggle with many regrets, I know grief comes after the privilege of first loving Miles.

Yes, what a privilege that was, is and forever will be. ❤️

Our family often chats about what it will be like to see him again in heaven. Such gratitude that we have hope and promise in that future together! ❤️☀️