I’ve thought long about starting this blog (about two years actually). So many times I talked myself out of sharing our journey, disclosing our struggles, and being vulnerable.
You see, things aren’t always perfect (most of my life, far from it), but I’ve always been able to maintain some level of control in all circumstances. I worked hard in school, fell in love with an amazing man, found a rewarding career, and built a strong foundation for a successful life. I decided when to move, when to get married, where to start my career, when to start and stop school, when to get pets, when to buy a house… you get the picture.
I had successfully checked all the prerequisite items off my list in order to make my next big decision…. start our family!
I’m sure you can tell that there was a whole lot of “I”, “me”, and “my’s” going on. God patiently watched over me and waited for me to insert Him into the mix. With everything going accordingly to plan, what motivation did I have to do so?
God has used my heart’s greatest desire as my life changing lesson, as an invitation to ditch my perfectly sequenced checklists and choose Him instead every single day.
Our plan is not always His plan.
It hasn’t always been easy, but I’m beginning to see how His plan is way better than mine. Like way, way better.
So, why share our journey now? Two reasons, really.
- Because through my church and relationships, God is revealing to me how being real and vulnerable is one of the most beautiful things we can experience with one another. It’s easy to keep up a “got it all together” charade. But, there is no depth in that kind of life. It takes courage to be real and vulnerable. That is when your heart, mind, and soul come to life.
- Because May was a month of extreme loss for my family, and reading other people’s blogs helped me process this intense grief that overcame me. While I wish my circumstances upon no one, I regained hope and peace in reading others’ stories of perseverance and faith. I hope our story can help someone else, too.
Okay, enough cryptic talk. Time for full disclosure.
We’ll be talking:
- infertility, miscarriage, adoption
- getting diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome
- heartbreak, anger, disbelief
- questioning God, doubting that He hears you, wondering if He sees you
If any of this sounds like you or someone you know, let’s talk! I suffered through so much of this alone, and would love an opportunity to walk alongside you. You are not alone. You are entitled to feel everything you do. But, my prayer is that you give it all to God much sooner than I did, so you can experience the peace and comfort He has waiting for us all. We just need to invite Him into the mix.